he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
