Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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