He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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