I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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