what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
