She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
