smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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