imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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