The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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