you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
