I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you traded sex for a burrito?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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