it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
