May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
