I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
