So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
