Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
