Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
