Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
