omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
