I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
