there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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