their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
