There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He did a backflip because drugs
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