Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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