Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
As shirtless as possible
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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