yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
