I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
