He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
