forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
