and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
