so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
