maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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