We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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