Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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