hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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