yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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