I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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