You're completely useless in the revolution.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
