i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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