What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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