$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
