I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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