I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
