Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I cockslap morals
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
