The maid of honor just puked.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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