real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
