i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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