There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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