Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
