from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
