Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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