i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
